Answer:
What contains zero calories, but if you consume it, you will probably gain weight?
I am round as a bowl, deep as a tub, but all the world's water couldn't fill me up.
Sometimes I am loud. And viewed with distaste. Poke out my 'eye', then I'm on the front of your face.
You can see nothing else, When you look in my face, I will look you in the eye, And I will never lie.
What has two spines and a lot of ribs, and carries much but never moves?
You can always find me in the past. I am created in the present, but the future can not change me. What am I?