Answer:
A morbidly-named body of water
John was going to a party and, as he approached, he could see in the windows that it was completely packed with people. He went inside only to discover that there wasn’t a single person inside
What has two legs but doesn't walk?
You’ll have me at night and if you remove the first letter I denote the top, such as on a train
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
What is always coming but never arrives?